Day One: Insight and Insults

January 24th - Today is my first day in the Gros Bonnet Culinary Academy in Honolulu, Hawaii.  This is one of the few, and according to the commercial on the Food Network, BEST cooking schools in the state.   I'm sure I'll be passing judgement on that claim at some point, but on day one we got just the basic outline of the course, did a little paperwork, learned some rules, and were introduced to the man who will be our Chef Instructor for the first three weeks, Chef Otto Luther.  Google him if you like, I didn't find much of interest.
That is not to say he isn't interesting, as he is personable, well-travelled, and has many, many, many, many, many years of kitchen experience in restaurants, on cruise ships, at resorts, and as a culinary arts instructor at several good schools.  He has also trained cooks for the military, so if you loved your Green Eggs in 'Nam, you can thank Chef Otto.  I think his no-nonsense approach and less-than-PC opinions will add flavor to what could be a long, dry three weeks of classroom work on history, professionalism, sanitation, procedures, and techniques.
    Our class is composed of 10 students, 7 women and 3 men, one of whom didn't even show up.  This is almost the exact opposite of the normal culinary course ratio, which is historically male-dominated.   I don't see this being an issue, because Gerald (the other man that DID show up) and I are both married and are accustomed to being dominated.

Some things we learned:

YOU WILL GET BURNED AND/OR CUT  
 Don't panic if you get burned or cut, the only instance of a lost digit (left thumb) was able to be sewn back on, and the guy could still cook (but not turn a door knob).  Also, no one has ever needed a skin graft.

YOU WILL GAIN WEIGHT
I beg to differ, I say to the world right now - I will lose weight!  At least until we do desserts.

DON'T CALL YOURSELF "CHEF"
You are not a chef, even after completing the course.  You don't deserve the title, you scum-sucking maggot.
(I added that last part)

SOMEONE WILL STEAL YOUR KNIVES
Someone, a classmate or outsider, is always waiting to steal your steel.  Lock them up, never lend them to anyone, never leave them in the car, engrave them, keep them with you at all times.  Apparently this has been a problem in the past.

THERE IS REQUIRED VOLUNTEER WORK
Yes, it IS an oxymoron, but the intention is good, as it provides opportunity to work for chefs around the city and gain experience in a variety of professional settings.  Besides, if I should ever run my own kitchen, I want forced volunteers to come do my grubby work for free, too.

Tomorrow is introductions day and our first classroom subjects, "Professionalism" and "History of Professional Cooking".  Until next time, Bon Soir