Sushi and Fish...Not quite the same thing.

Well, it was a LONG three weeks of classroom instruction, but everyone passed the huge final test (I'm not even being a smart-ass this time, it was a long and challenging test).  Chef Chad was given the thankless task of bringing us up to speed on mostly administrative topics and he got us through it with his usual thorough efficiency.  Anyone who thought that math had no place in the kitchen never had to convert a recipe for 1 quart of mushroom soup to a recipe that would cover 320 guests at a banquet while establishing the cost of each ingredient (allowing for waste-vs-edible amount), determine the food cost percentage in relation to the income produced, and establish the conversions for volume measures-vs-weight.   My simplified version:

1 quart soup = 320 guests X 4.5oz each < edible portion % + wild mushrooms @ 5.49/lb - 10% trim and waste *before cooking(using 3X as your integer)^720 oz stock/>4.63<fresh thyme multiplied by the square root of the diameter of Oprah Winfree's ass & whatever the hell else you can add to an equation.    Then call Little Caesar's and tell them to eat the damn pizza pizza instead.   You know why algebra has all those symbols you never use?   Because it F*^#&>ING SUCKS!

But I digress.   Chef Chad did a good job keeping us in the game and focused through subjects like time and employee management, culinary math, stress management, plating theory, and ordering/receiving.  He also prepped us well for the big test, and for all this we thank him.

Last week it was back into the cold kitchen and Chef Masa, who has been hired on as the full time replacement for Chef Otto.  Chef Masa has become a favorite among the students through his constantly good nature and very easy to meet kitchen demands.  It has become a bit of a joke that no matter what we make, how it looks, or how far it is from the recipe, Chef Masa says "Is good!" or "Is OK!".   Realizing that we tend to always say "that's great" or "wow, I really like that" when we try each other's dish, we've started using reverse compliments.  The better something is, the less we claim to like it. So when Enju tries something and tells me "It's just OK, not very good" I am very pleased.  We may be getting a little loopy.

Chef Masa has been a pro sushi dude for a long time and this week we spent a day doing sticky rice and various rolls trying to get the technique down as well as make them as pretty as we can.  I am sadly lacking in arts and crafts skill, so while my rolls were certainly tasty and properly rolled, they weren't as pretty as the others.  I used salmon caviar for some color, but it looked like eyes, so my tempura shrimp roll ended up looking like the star of an animated short film from Pixar.  As with all things, I'll get better with practice. 

On Wednesday, Chef Masa asked us to each write down 4 recipes that we wanted to make next week and provide a list of ingredients that he can order for Monday.  We chose a lot of very nice sounding projects, but I have to admit to being skeptical about the odds on the school coming through with the ingredients that we asked for.  If they will just get me the whole salmon that I wanted to make gravlax, I will be amazed and happy.  Things like fresh berries and scallops shouldn't be a problem.  Jessica mentioned and I agree that the morning we spent putting together our recipes was one of the most fun and interesting of the whole year because we were able to use our own thoughts on menu.   This week could be a good time.

Chef Masa (at our request, and at his own personal expense) also brought in some whole tilapia,sole, and mackeral for us to work with, since our hands-on experience in fillet and cutting has been lacking.  Seems it's just easier and cheaper to buy the salmon, mahi mahi, tuna, and sole processed and frozen.  So the class got to do some real fish rendering.  I've dealt with fish my whole life, but there was really a lot to learn for the others and it was a good, if short-lived experience.

Last week was the graduation of the class ahead of ours, making us the Seniors at the school.  Our own grad date is December 15, and with our big final test out of the way we just need to concentrate on our kitchen performance and continue to ingrain the procedures and techniques.  We are joined in this last rotation by Van, a guy that was in the class ahead but had to miss a couple months and so will be going through it with us.  He's a cool guy and will be a welcome addition.  Three weeks left in each of the kitchen phases where the expectations will be much higher and the dishes more complex.  Here we go.

Things that make me  :)   or  :( 

Haleiwa Joe's furikake-crusted Opah    :)

The Red Sox and Braves both crashing like lead balloons in September    :)

The Mariners crashing in June    :(

Getting ready to move   :)

Getting ready to move to El Paso, TX   :(   

The last season of "Hell's Kitchen"    :(

The neighbor lady that brings her month-old baby that squalls like a wounded dog out to the lanai at 6 am for the whole neighborhood to enjoy     :(

Sandy didn't make the cut for "The Next Food Network Star"     :(

But they told her they thought they'd be seeing her again sometime     :)


"Bad cooks -- and the utter lack of reason in the Kitchen -- have delayed human development longest and impaired it most."

~ Friedrich Nietzsche (October 15, 1844 - August 25, 1900)